1 -My wife asked me do i please you in bed,
yes i said especially that trick you do with your mouth,
what tricks that she asks, the one when you shut it and go to sleep.
2 - A woman was playing a round of golf as she teed off she sliced and hit the man on the next hole,and watched in horror as he clasped his hands at his groin ,and fell to the ground ,rolling about in agony, she runs over ,"im so sorry she says let me help.
your ok says the man "but im a physio therapist she says " and slowly moves the mans hands,away from his groin, and undoes his trousers and starts massaging him,after a few minuits she says " is that better " thats fantastic he replies but i still think my thumb is broken .
3 – A man and his wife ( who never stopped nagging) were on a holiday trip to jerusalem,when the wife died suddenly,the undertaker says to the husband, it will cost you £10,000 to ship her home or £25.00 to bury her here, the husband after some consideration replies no your ok i will take her home,but why dont you bury her here says the undertaker in the holy land its lovely and you will save all that money,the husband replies a long ,long time ago a man called jesus was buried here ,and 3 days later he came back to life, im not taking no chances with the bitch.
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