A young Woman was in the jewellers admiring a big diamond ring, and as she lent over for a closer look she let a little fart slip out, hoping no-one noticed she asks the assistant “ how much is the diamond ring” the assistant replies, lady just looking at the diamond ring made you fart, if i tell you the price you will bloody shit yourself.
A fat bird was at the bar drunk, walks up to a man having a quite drink “ if you can guess my weight you can come back to mine and shag me all night” iv’e no idea he replies 30 stone “that’s close enough ya lucky b******d.
Some little thieving sod pinched a pair of the wife’s knickers off the washing line last night, she is not bothered about the missing knickers but would really like the 25 pegs back.
Paddy and mick are making letter bombs,” do you think i have put enough explosives in this envelope” paddy asks “ i don’t know mick says open it and see”but it will explode he replies, don’t be f*****g stupid its not addressed to you.
Apparently colonal gaddaffi has gone into hiding,and surrounded himself with 40 virgins,- well we at least know he is not in Liverpool.
A message from b harmany.
We regret that your application to join our dating agency, i regret to inform you your application has been denied,
You failed question 14 “what do you like most in women “ – my dick ,is not an acceptable answer.
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