joke of the day ( sxy little pvc number )

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The mrs just came into the living room, wearing a little pvc number, stockings and high heels, she handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down and relax and when she comes back she will give me what she does best, I can’t wait I f*****g love bacon sandwiches.

Paddy’s wife Mary is listening to the news on the radio, when a report comes in that there is a psychopath driving the wrong way down the m25 motorway, realising her husband paddy is today travelling on the very same motorway, she phone’s him panicking, paddy my precious she says , iv’e just heard on the news that there is a madman driving the wrong way down the motorway, I know Mary he says but it’s not just one there’s hundred’s of them.

I was woken up last night again by the bulimic girl next door being sick again,i banged on the wall and shouted for god’s sake woman keep it down

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Ha ha ha ha that alzheimers joke you sent me earlier was brilliant.
Little Andrew watched fascinated as his mother soothed some ceam on her face, why are you doing that mother he ask’s, to make my self beautiful she reply’s, then as she begins to wipe it off ,Andrew says whats the matter mam you giving up already.

A polish man visits the local optician for a check up .the optician shows him the the board from about 10 foot away , with the letters “ czwjxnasac “ well sir can you read that ,, read it he says i know the guy.