joke of the day ( the sniffer dog )

jokes 124 –

A policeman with a sniffer dog came up to me the other day and said “my dog tells me that your on drugs” im on drugs i said “ your the one who thinks he has a talking dog.

Firemen have just rescued a man with his dick caught in a condom machine,when they asked what happened, he replied i just followed the instructions, insert 2 pounds coins, and push knob in.

I went to the pet shop yesterday and saw 3 parrots for sale,1 for £200, 1 for £150. And 1 for a tenner, why is that one so cheap i asked, well she said it used to work in a brothel, i found this relly funny so i bought it, i take it home, as i walked into the house the parrot says “ F**k me a new brothel” and i laughed, i walked in to the front room, see’s my 2 sisters and the parrot goes “ f**k me new girls” and everyone laughs, my dad walked in and the parrot goes  “ f**k me dave long time no see “.

I went to a fortune teller yesterday,to see what the future had in store for me, give me your hand she say’s well i can tell that you masterbate a lot and you will be doing so for a very long time, wow i said you can tell that from my hand, she looked up and said “ no i can tell that by your face you ugly f*****r.