I was down the pub last night when i realised i needed to fart,the music was really load,so i timed my farts with the beat,after a couple of songs i started to feel better,as i finished my pint i noticed everyone was starring at me , then i remembered i was listening to my i pod.
Man plays golf every Sunday .
He says to his wife “im off love for my Sunday golfing” gets his bag opens the door only to find it pissing down, f**K it he thinks, i will see what its like in 10 minuets, still raining so he thinks back to bed,
Gets up behind the wife and starts sliping her one from behind she starts moaning and wakes up “its pissing down he says” to which the wife replies ,and that dickhead husband of mine has gone to play golf.
I just got back from the world erection champanships,made it through to the semi’s.
Man in a bar order’s champagne,lady next to him say’s,”what a coincedence iv’e just ordered champagne too”,man replies im celebrating,me too say’s the lady,what a coincedence, he says what are you celebrating,
Lady “my husband and i have been trying for years for a baby, and today i found out im pregnant”,
Man “ what a coincedence im a farmer and for years my hens were infertile,and today they all laid eggs”
Lady “ wow how did that happen”
Man “ i used a different cock “
Lady smiled, winked and clinked his glass and replied “ what a coincidence”
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment