1 - my sex therepist reckons,the most effective way to turn a man on is to lick his ears for ten minuets,personally i think its bollocks
2 – my grandad got his tounge shot off during the war, but he never talks about it.
3 – I get on really well with the lesbians next door,they asked me what i would like for my birthday,i was stunned when they bought me a rolex,i think they misunderstood ,when i said i wanna watch.
4 – A couple were driving home one night when they ran over a skunk,they got out of the car, to find it still breathing,but it was very cold,husband says i we will drive to the vets, put it between your legs to warm it up,wife says “ but its wet and it stinks ,husband says” its dying for christs sake just hold its nose”
5 – A man bumps into his ex wifes new husband and asks, how you getting on with the second hand vagina,brilliant he replies after the first 3 inches its brand new.
6 – a metal patient is in hospital,when a nurse catches him with his dick between 2 biscuits,what ar you doing dave sah asks. Im f******g crackers he replies.
7 – young tracy comes home from school and says mummy,mummy i know where babies come from,wheres that then her mother replies, little tracy says “well mummy ,mummy and daddy take off all there clothes and daddy sticks his thingy in mummys mouth and she sucks and sucks. Oh thats so sweet darling but thats not how you get babies,thats how you get jewelly,clothes ,shoes,flowers and all the decorating done.
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