I was late for work yesterday,and was speeding down the motorway when suddenly a policman pulls me over for speeding, where you going in such a hurry he asks ,you were doing over a 100mph,coming over the bridge,im late for work officer i replied,what is it you do for a living he asks ,well i replied i am an ass strecher,looking confused he says "whats an ass strecher" well officer i said i have very expensive and sophisticated equipment,i slowly inches at a time strech arses to 6 foot, wow says the officer what do you do with a 6 foot ass hole,,well i replied you give him a spped gun and put him on a bridge.
2 - A prostite visits the doctor and after her examination the doctor says “your pregnant do you know who the father is “ look doctor she replied “when you eat i tin of beans do you know which one makes you fart.
3 – paddy and mick find 4 hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station,paddy says “what happens if one explodes on the way “ well we will have to lie and say we only found 3 says mick.
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