I started work recently in a music shop, and today this really scruffy,shady looking guy walks in and ask me ,”excuse me have you any thing by the doors” yes i repliead 2 doormen,and 2 security camera’s so dont try anything ,dickhead.
Paddy goes to see the nurse as he has a severe rash on his balls,the nurse says “ look paddy your going to have to stop wanking “ but why he says “i enjoy it “ because the nurse says im trying to examine you.
Took a bird home last night after clubbing and,after a few drinks at mine we went upstairs,while we were taking our clothes off,a voice from the bed said “i hope thats not the fat bird from the other night”
Bloody memory foam mattress.
My new girlfriend was giving me a blowjob,when she found out i suffer from premature ejaculation,but its ok she took it on the chin.
I was in court the other day after a car crash, the judge asks me what happened “well your honouri was travelling down this quite country lane,and as i turned the bend i saw the car infront,i braked as hard as i could but still hit it,a cute blond got out and said ,ram me up the arse ,why dont you,and this your honour is were the confusion began
Paddy says to mick “ oi i have something stuck in my throat” are ya chokin he says .”
No ya dickhead im fecking serios.
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